Jon Dascola's Blog

the great peanut butter war

inthefade:

It seems timestolen and I have come to a crossroads in our BFFness. Just a small battle. Maybe a big war.

It seems she is a heathen who enjoys chunky style peanut butter. I am a purist who knows that smooth is the only way to go.

So, we must draw up sides for this war.

Chunky or smooth. Choose your tumblr side.

Choose well, and may the peanut butter sauce be with you.

Please. Let me end this once and for all.

A good PBJ is all about the texture. Soft bread, cold jelly and the sexy silkiness of smooth JIF. If you’re really good, you get a little extra around the crust to even out the consistency. Then you know what you’re doing. Then we can talk.

1. theungracefulone liked this
2. rachelskirts answered: SMOOTH.
3. iainwith2is answered: Crunchy, always crunchy. Smooth = fail.
4. hurtling answered: I’ll refrain from paraphrasing the “Shakes the Clown” joke, but I do like my peanut butter smooth and easy to spread.
5. frageelay answered: Crunchy, smooth, natural, processed, I love it all. See also: my enormous ass.
6. jimray answered: If the good lord intended us to eat creamy, he’d have given us peanut grinders for hands. CHUNKY RULES CREAMY DROOLS, LUZRZ!1!!
7. jamieelizabeth liked this
8. thedza answered: I like it smoove.
9. marleymarley answered: I like big nuts and I cannot lie.
10. hammerito liked this
11. dascola reblogged this from openareas and added:

    Please. Let me end this once...for all. A good PBJ...all...

12. joeschmitt liked this
13. joeschmitt answered: Chunky, please. I don’t need someone to chew my food for me.
14. brilliantorange answered: Chunky. It’s just more fucking peanuts, not ground glass. Don’t be afraid of texture, ya nancies.
15. moonbaked answered: I’m going to have to vote smooth. Due only to the fact of a horrible drunken chunky pb puke fest.
16. moonbaked liked this
17. froggeek liked this
18. melissasantos liked this
19. sandboxdiaries liked this
20. lisarahmat liked this
21. theungracefulone reblogged this from openareas and added:

    see so many people I really, really liked are clearly freedom-hating Communists...families...

22. coyotesqrl answered: I’m a peanut slut. I swing both ways, though usually with the smooove kind. But sometimes…I like to indulge my taste for the chunk.
23. halfbakedidea answered: I only like it when its mixed with chocolate.
24. charliepatpk answered: Smooth; especially fresh ground, no sugar added.
25. rartastic answered: smooooooth! JIF too.
26. eoporto answered: smooth. i don’t like surprise nuts in my mouth.
27. onesmallfire answered: Chunk-y!!! I will even do the Truffle Shuffle. (Freshly made at the Co-op is a bonus!)
28. gordonshumway answered: JIF Chunky. Because choosy motherfuckers choose JIF.
29. dig-the-cat answered: Can’t I just have some Philadelphia cream cheese? It’s a better choice for my English muffin.
30. samit answered: Smooth. Chunk is so damn hard to spread on a slice of bread.
31. nilszero liked this
32. spdracerx answered: Smooth
33. ivanjuanjohann answered: Chunky. Even EXTRA chunky. Shells still on.
34. ohbilly answered: Smooth
35. lilykily answered: I am a smooth gal, but I had chunky the other day for the first time in years and that was fun.
36. azzman answered: hmmm i like both more smooth
37. foreverinflux answered: Smooth indeed
38. thistumblerhasane answered: Smoooooth. Kraft. The bear on the blue label. One time they swapped label bears and I almost bought crunchy.
39. andricon answered: Smooth. Creamy. Innuendo.
40. melissasantos answered: sorry, but i’m with timestolen. chunky!
41. justlearning answered: It’s got to be chunky…otherwise why bother?
42. froggeek answered: I like my peanutbutter like I like my…. wait, that’s just not right. Lets just say I like the nutty kind.
43. theungracefulone answered: Ugh. I was already in a PB war with someone else. I cannot wage two-front war. Don’t make me pick you or today’s crush. UGH.
44. lisarahmat answered: Smooth on buns. Chunky direct to mouth.
45. fuiru answered: Peanut butter is the work of the devil. I’m Switzerland.
46. matt-t answered: Smooth like a fresh bikini wax
47. sokeri answered: I went through a phase in 8th grade when I thought chunky was all the rage. I see now that I was a silly child.
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